How have you been doing on your sobriety? We can work together to reach our goals.
It's Wednesday so let's do a mid-week sobriety check-in! I will let you know how I'm doing, and you can feel free to email me if you have a prayer request or just need an ear. It's always nice to have someone to hear you. The main reason I even started this blog back in March was because I don't always have someone to talk to about certain things, so being able to blog about it is very healing. Even if no-one reads my blogs I get to just vent and let it all out! The best part about blogging is that I can say what I want without having any unwanted advice given back to me. Sometimes we just want to vent without having another person always trying to have an answer to how we feel. Everything doesn't need to have an answer.
First off, I'm still walking tall and sober. Going on 10 months very soon. I couldn't be prouder of myself. I knew that once I took that final step to go to inpatient rehab that I was done for good. You hear lots of people say that and they fail. Mainly because they don't mean it when they say it. Rehab is an easy fix for a month or so to stay sober and then soon as you're back out in the real world again, you go right back to your old lifestyle. That's because changes are not being made as to where you hangout and who you hang out with. Listen, if your friends truly love you, they will understand you distancing yourself. If they don't understand, then they're selfish and don't want better for you. You have to realize the fact that most drinkers don't want their friends to quit drinking because then they have no-one to go to party with. This is sad but true information. I know from experience!
You know a funny thought. I used to look at every percentage of alcohol content in my wine before I'd even purchase it. If it didn't have a high enough alcohol content, I wouldn't buy it, and I'd find another one that was stouter. I was a 100-percenter when it came to drinking. I was a 100-percenter making sure I had that wine for the night. I was a 100-percenter putting myself first to make sure I'd get that drink.
So, let's switch our roles and let's become Zero-percenters. I am Zero-percent interested in drinking. I am Zero-percent missing drinking. I am Zero-percent missing drinking with other people who drink. I am Zero-percent missing only eating at a restaurant because they serve alcohol. I am Zero-percent missing going to karaoke or acting stupid at bars. I am Zero-percent missing waking up in the hospital not even knowing how I got there. I am Zero-percent being so loud in public places that I'm embarrassing myself and don't even realize it. Doesn't that sound just amazing?
I am a Zero-percenter! You can also be a Zero-percenter and we can do it together.
I would like for you to know to stay respectful to those who are in recovery. Whether it's from alcohol, drugs, or any other addiction. Yes, there are other addictions. Porn, Over-Eating, Lying, Stealing, Gambling, Nicotine, ETC, and so many more addictions. If you are someone battling a different kind of addiction, please stop focusing on only people who have an addiction with alcohol or drugs to make yourself feel better about yourself. It's very prideful and only shows that you're selfish and proud of your habit but ashamed of others. People do this to make themselves feel better about their sin and addiction. You're only hurting yourself in the end.
So anyway, I'd like to say this about addiction. If you have a loved one who is in recovery from alcohol, please don't make sure to always be pointing that out to them. Here are some examples of some things to NOT say....
1) I'm SO sorry I drank last night! I didn't want you to find out!
First of all, I could care less that you drank last night. You drinking has nothing to do with me. Stop trying to make me feel bad for being sober. Second, If I wanted to drink, I would drink, and it's not because you went out to drink a few drinks last night.
2) Ohhhh, we can't go eat there because they serve liquor and it's a bar atmosphere!
Alright, this is an easy way to really make someone in recovery feel worthless. 90% of the time, I drank alone in my office. I don't need a bar or a restaurant to get waisted in. So, stop saying that. It's dumb and makes the person in recovery feel like they should be locked up and that you feel they have no control over their life or decisions.
3) Don't get too stressed out. You don't want to end up going out and doing something stupid you will regret later!
Once, again, I didn't drink in my past because of stress. I drank to get drunk and the feeling of being drunk made me numb and I loved the feeling. (Until the next day of course, and that's why I'd drink all over again the next day for the hangover to go away).
If I get stressed, I'm taking a double dose of anxiety pills and laying down for a nap. Note: People who have stayed in an inpatient-rehab facility took LOTS of classes on stress and how alcohol only increases our stress. Believe me, (we alcoholics) know more about stress and anxiety than you'll ever know. So, stop trying to be a self-diagnosed counselor to others when you have no degree. Also note: If Dr MD, or Dr Ph.D, Google, whatever the website is where you get your information is going to be more than likely incorrect and ignorant to someone in recovery. So, saying something like this to someone in recovery just might get you slapped.
There are lots of other things to not say to those in recovery. But I will keep it short. I think you get the idea. Time seems to have slowed down for me. I'm so excited for my 1-YEAR of sobriety to get here. I have a lot planned the month of July so I'm getting antsy for it to come! Just please be considerate to others is all I ask.
In all of this being said, I want to point something else out to those in recovery! Be considerate to those who still live your old life. To those still having drinks with every meal, or those struggling to quit drinking and those doing drugs. Please don't put them down or look at them like you're better than they are now or even think badly of them. You used to be them! Pray for them that they will also find a way to get sober as well. Pray for those also lost in other addictions like gambling or porn or stealing or lying. One thing that everyone needs is prayer and I know I never turn down a prayer from anyone. Just because we found sobriety makes us NO BETTER than anyone else. And we don't have to make out a point to someone like, "Hey I'm praying for you!" You don't have to act like that either. Just pray for them daily when you're doing your daily prayers. God hears us when we pray.
If it's meant for you and an old friend to get back together so you can do things together again, then God will make a way. Just don't give up on your dreams. And don't give up praying for those who need it. I have so many people who didn't give up praying for me and God answered. It took some time for God to get into my thick noggin, but he finally did HAHA! And I don't think I'm perfect or better than anyone else by any means. I still have things I struggle with, and vaping is one of those things. When I stopped drinking, I started vaping because the nicotine helped me with my triggers when I wanted a drink! So, if you see me vaping, just pray for me silently with zero judgement. Or you can come over and slap me on the forehead and pray as loud as you want to, either way works for me HAHAHA. I'm sure I need that prayer and would love the prayers. Then you can go pray for one of your sins for judging me for vaping LOL. I know I shouldn't vape, and I will quit when I'm ready to just like I was when I quit drinking. It's just nice to have the vape when I do get an urge or a bad thought.
This was a fun blog today. I would like to point out that this blog wasn't intended for any one certain person so please don't think I'm pointing fingers. They were just little examples from some experiences that I've faced since being in sobriety. I don't always get annoying advice from others. I do get great advice sometimes, but the great advice come from my father in Heaven. Thank you, Jesus, for my life in recovery and thank you for saving me in more than one way.
Remember! Let's be Zero-percenters!
If you would like to email me for a prayer request, please feel free! My church has an amazing prayer team who would love to pray for you.
author@michelleneal-blog.com or if you have a little story you'd like to share about your recovery, I'm here to listen.
I will see you all tomorrow!
xoxoxo, Michelle Neal