Today was a really good day. I decided to go for a walk. After doing my blog on Mental Health and Medications, I was thinking to myself that I really need to get back into the gym and walk more every chance that I can. I went to the gym this evening before church, and I worked out for a bit it felt really great to exercise. Anyway, squirrel!
Earlier today I decided to walk up to the family dollar store because it's only about 5 blocks away from my house. I needed to get some supplies for my dog anyway. It was a great walk. I kind of waited too long in the afternoon because it was already past noon and about 89 degrees, but I was going to trooper through it! lol.
I have a friend, "well I had a friend" who lives about 2 blocks away from me. We live on the same street. And when I go for walks, I walk right by her house. She doesn't talk to me anymore. She's never said one word to me since I got out of rehab and she never even waves hello. And it really got me to thinking, why do old friends not talk to you after you get sober?
I want to remind anyone reading this that I do not have any college degrees in counseling, therapy, and I do not have any diplomas from Bible College or anything like that. Any advice that I do give, it's from personal experiences only. I can say I do have plenty of experience from Mental Health Awareness, Addiction and Religion with the things I have been through in my life. Always know, you can disagree with anything I say and it's okay! It's okay to disagree. But I will also say that if I blog about it, then I believe very strongly in what I write about because I've lived through it.
SO, anyway, as I'm walking by her house today, I can see her look out her window at me then she walked quickly away from her window. I guess she thinks that getting sober also makes us blind lol. This is a lady who I was really good friends with last year. But there is only one problem. We were drinking friends. We would go for walks together, hang out at her house. Go to the liquor store together. She would get her pint of vodka as I would pick out my wine that I wanted for the night while we were hanging out.
Last year, I couldn't even walk by her house, and she would come running out to me to give me a friendly hug. We would stand outside and talk for an hour or so every time she would see me. Now, she won't give me even 2 seconds of her life. I tried to friend her on social media, and she blocked me. I'm not angry with her at all. It makes me sad, but I have been praying for her to also find the way and the strength to get sober and to find Jesus again. And YES, for all those people who brag about doing things without Jesus, you can get sober on your own, BUT why not have it all and find Jesus too? You've got nothing to lose.
So, these are the reasons why I think, and the things I've lived through that explain to me why your old friends want nothing to do with you anymore after you've became sober.
1) They might just feel awkward drinking around you. And this is completely true. When I drank all the time, it was just weird hanging out with others who didn't drink too. "Well, they are boring. Well, they won't be any fun. I won't be able to act dumb around someone sober."
2) They know that they have a drinking problem too, but they refuse to change their life. This is MOST CERTAINLY TRUE. And you can believe me or not, but I was in those shoes once. "Well, they have quit drinking and now all they will want to do is talk to me about quitting also." People who know that they need to quit drinking are not going to quit unless they literally hit rock bottom, they have to quit for health reasons, or if they ARE READY FOR ONCE IN THEIR LIFE TO STOP. If you're not ready, then you're wasting your time. You don't know how many times I quit drinking and not long after, I was right back at it being dumb. Heck, I don't even know how many times I quit.
3) They are actually mad at you for changing your life around. This person I pretty much know is angry with me for changing my life around. Now that I'm not there to drink with her and party, she really has no one else now so I know that she is drinking alone at home. If you decide to change your life to better yourself, be ready because friends will get mad at you. I'll never understand this completely, but for the most part jealousy is involved with this. Some will be jealous and angry at you.
Don't let "So Called Old Friends" make you feel bad for improving your life. I used to let it bother me really bad. Now I just pray about it and give it to the Lord. I still walk by her house tall and proud. I won't take another route ever. I keep my head high and walk happy by her house. I'm so proud of myself for all of my accomplishments. I'm proud of changing who I was by my own decisions. No one talked me into it, No one made me. I was ready to stop acting foolish and being greedy only caring for myself.
They will decide to change one day too, or they will end up dying at an early age from an alcohol related accident or from health issues.
Pray for them. We all need prayer. I had lots of people praying for me and God answered their prayer. AMEN for prayers!
Until tomorrow,
xoxoxo, Michelle Neal